My dream, the one that I think I could actually make a reality, has been the same for a lot of years. I really feel that it is time to start working towards making it a reality. I have a quiet unspoken timeline in my head, but I think perhaps I need to start speaking it out loud, to make myself accountable to myself.
I started to write down the things that I don't want, but they were all about leaving my current job, so instead I'll change it to those things that I do want.
I want to have my own business, a small cafe. I want a cafe because I love to cook and I would like to cook for an audience wider than my family and friends.
I want a small place local to home where everything is fresh that day. I want you to come in to smells of cakes cooking, soup simmering.
Everything will be made on premises, by me. If your children would like a biscuit it won't be jammed with smarties in a flavourless god awful dough and coated in icing. I will have made biscuits fresh for yours as if they were for mine.
There will be wonderful music on and gorgeous fresh flowers.
There will be a generosity that pervades all aspects of my little corner.
I don't want it to make me rich, this business of mine, just a quiet achiever, something modest I know would make me so proud.
I want to have my girls come after school and help until I close. They could wait tables for an hour, or just sit and do their homework having some afternoon tea.
I'm going to buy a journal, a new one to start a business plan properly, rather than the scraps of paper I now keep. I'm going to aim for the year Leila starts school, 2012 - it sounds a long way off and definitely achievable, perhaps even sooner.
I haven't done this before, if you have, give me your tips, tell me where to start. For now all I have is the dream.