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Some days I find it harder to parent than I do on others. I feel tired today, a little lack lustre and would love to just do things for me. It's not a case of not loving my babes, not wanting to be with them, but some days it's just harder.

What I find a challenge, on days such as these, is the guilt. I feel so guilty for just feeling a little can't be bothered. Getting out the coloured card and making a Rapunzel tower just isn't so appealing but not making it causes that guilty feeling.

I'm not a big fan of tv for children, although don't misunderstand me, my girls do watch tv. I personally just feel ..... guilty if I use it as a babysitting tool. I limit its use to 30 minutes, otherwise I feel like an utter failure. Summoning up the energy to go for a bike ride feels too much but gosh, that makes me feel ..... lazy.

There's been plenty written about Mother Guilt I know, but it still surprises me. My recompense for inactivity and lack of enthusiasm today, will be donning my togs and submitting myself to a public bathing exercise before swimming classes today. I'll play a hungry crocodile, be the Fairy King and nibble my little ones toes when she's not looking. I'm not looking forward to it right now, but I'll do it anyway and I guarantee that within moments I'll be giggling with her and my guilt will just melt away. I'll try and remember that when I'm next having a moment, that they are only .... moments.

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Not perfectly focussed, but I like this one too.

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My brother left me some money, in his estate. It was very challenging, holding that cheque in my hands. I never wanted his money and having it somehow seemed like closing another chapter. Mike never had any money, but was always generous with the little he had, with those closest to him. As a result he was always interested to know that all of us were okay. He was interested in how much things had cost, whether we were saving money, anything to do with affairs financially. The money he left would have been a lot for him and for that and so many other reasons it meant a lot to me.

I decided to buy something to remember him by, something that would go on and on. So, although it felt like an indulgence, yesterday I bought a ring. I still need to get his initials, MBM, engraved on the inside, but it's on my hand and in my mind and my heart, my brother gave this ring to me.

My daughters will wear the ring after me and in turn perhaps they will pass it on to their own families. I will always carry his memory and share it with any who are interested to listen, but now we have a family heirloom, and it came from Uncle Mike.

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After my weekend away I realised that I don't really know all that my camera can do. Jo's love of photography also reinspired me to try harder to do more, other than just shoot. I did a photography course, gosh when I was in my late teens (!!!) with my first Nikomatt camera which I still have and love. I remember taking photos with the lens wide open and watching while the trams rattled past down Glenhuntly Road in Elsternwick. Of course back then we had to commit to trying to get images printed during the forthcoming week, if our chemist could accommodate, and we'd critique them together afterwards. So amazing, really when you think how fast things change.

The lovely thing about meeting new people is the new perspective, what you share and in turn what you take away with you and are inspired by.

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This weekend I did something I've never done before, actually a couple of things. Firstly I left my little 3 guy family and went away without them for not one, but two nights. Secondly I went away with two people I've never met before and had the loveliest, most invigorating short break since, well, since I went to Paris with Kate and Lena before we left the UK.

Jo (Jellybaby blog) and Julia (Arte Fidelity) have been friends for almost a whole lifetime and for this weekend they included me in their circle and I felt warmly welcomed.

We ate well, we drank, we walked but mostly we talked and talked and talked. We didn't sew, we didn't watch tele, we just spent time together. I'd known beforehand from all I'd seen and read and the emails we'd exchanged that they were lovely women, but I didn't realise how calmed, amused and supported I'd feel by spending time with them. I loved seeing their gorgeous friendship first hand and laughed whole heartedly at their many, many amusing recollections.

Jo is an amazing photographer so I confess I felt embarassed to bring out my camera, silly I know, but she really is so gifted, I hope she shares her work with everyone more widely soon. Hence, the odd picture of the chair in this post.

I feel great, I hope we get to do it again.

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Is there anything my parents won't do in their play with my daughters. Nothing springs to mind. Today it was nail salons with Nan. Yellow finger nails and orange toenails. My mum's not normally a citrus shade type of girl, but she is now.