Monday, September 15, 2008

Patience



They're so smart, it's like they know when I'm feeling weak and vulnerable. They're always good, my girls, but some days are harder than others and it always seems those are the days they're running on ever ready batteries.

I think the main cause of most of my angst, frustration and stress is that I simply can't accept less is best. I find it hard to accept that I can't do everything and just live with it. I wake up setting a list of tasks for myself, a list so long that I can wind myself into knots as I wake stressing about all I HAVE to do. I don't HAVE to do most of it. I HAVE to get food into the house and cook it. I HAVE to feed the girls with said food, but aside from that, there isn't a lot I HAVE to do, just a lot I WANT to do. I find it hard to accept that I can't do it all.

We made these lemon yoghurt cupcakes, very messy - they disappeared after the beaters were licked clean. How old do your children need to be before they start sticking around for the cleaning up part?

I need to accept that I can't do it all, prioritise more and hopefully, relax along with it.

8 comments:

cindy said...

You could of labelled this post mothers guilt.I think we have all had it. And that constant battle of quality vs quantity. I think that children cleaning only ever extends as far as tongues. I hope at least you managed to enjoy some cuppies for yourself

Pina said...

I have the same problem, making myself too long lists and then being under stress because I don't do most of them because other things pop in. Maybe we should just shorten the list or do only the first three things on them?

Kym said...

Your advice to yourself sounds pretty good, especially the relaxing part.

I wonder what I'm doing wrong when I too can't meet all my objectives for the day. Seeing certain blogging mamas running perfect households with perfect children and wholesome home-cooked photogenic meals doesn't help. But I do what I can and overlook what I can't get done. Or try to anyway ...

Sarah said...

What a breath fresh of air.

You are not alone in these feelings. Thank you for your honesty.

Angie said...

I used to dwell on my inability to fit everything in, but you got it when you said you don't HAVE to do everything (wouldn't it be great if we COULD though....just occasionally!)

I have a whiteboard up in our kitchen with a section that lists a whole stack of stuff to get done...big jobs, small jobs. I then have the days of the week down the side where I can easily see what we have on for the week. It makes it easier on those days when you're not feeling up to it as you just pick a small job to get done. Because the list isn't a TODAY kind of thing, I don't feel as pressed about it all.

Some days I'm a dynamo, cutting through swathes of tasks, other days I feel like writing "unpack the dishwasher" on a list, just so I can cross it off!

Look at those 2 little ones of yours, you're obviously doing everything you NEED to.

Sandy said...

I feel the same way. Just yesterday I lost my car and house keys and I felt stressed beyond all reason. How could I lose my keys? I've never lost my keys! Was it because I was holding a diaper bag, my purse, the kids, a bag filled with the childrens's food, two bags of groceries all at the same time? Why was I holding so much in the first place? Why do I have to do so much?

My frustrations have been gradually compounding because I haven't had much free time for myself and when I do get the time I feel guilty to be away from the kids. It's a no win situation for me, so most of the time I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I definitely need to relax and not feel like I have to do everything at the same time. May be I'll find my keys when I finally do that.

Sandy said...

I feel the same way. Just yesterday I lost my car and house keys and I felt stressed beyond all reason. How could I lose my keys? I've never lost my keys! Was it because I was holding a diaper bag, my purse, the kids, a bag filled with the childrens's food, two bags of groceries all at the same time? Why was I holding so much in the first place? Why do I have to do so much?

My frustrations have been gradually compounding because I haven't had much free time for myself and when I do get the time I feel guilty to be away from the kids. It's a no win situation for me, so most of the time I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I definitely need to relax and not feel like I have to do everything at the same time. May be I'll find my keys when I finally do that.

Little Min said...

I share that angst about needing to do versus wanting to do, but it's more than that isn't it? There's an element of guilt built in to it as well.

It looks like we were at the same place on Saturday. But by the time I got there most of the vegies had gone.