They left today and by now are lying on the beach on Hamilton Island.
I didn't get to see her yesterday and last night I babysat so they could go for dinner as a couple. I didn't cry last night, when she walked me to the car just before midnight. I managed to avoid tears also when she said it hadn't been long enough and she hadn't said all she'd wanted to. I do feel teary now though.
I wrote her a card and amongst the things I said was that I hadn't managed to say everything I wanted to, it's hard to squeeze 7 years worth of thoughts into a few days. I also hope it isn't another 7 years before we're together again. It's these thoughts that actually hurt. It was so normal having them here, life felt so rich with her around. I guess it's loneliness I feel, it's that feeling of being understood and loved all the same that is infectious and hard to let go of. It's nice to feel affirmed as a good and friendworthy person. So, my darling Lena, I so loved having you here, I wish I could have thought on my feet more so I could have shared every thought I've ever meant to share with you, but there just wasn't enough time.
To distract today, we went to the beach and it was lovely. I wish you could have been there .....