Friday, January 08, 2010


They left today and by now are lying on the beach on Hamilton Island.

I didn't get to see her yesterday and last night I babysat so they could go for dinner as a couple. I didn't cry last night, when she walked me to the car just before midnight. I managed to avoid tears also when she said it hadn't been long enough and she hadn't said all she'd wanted to. I do feel teary now though.

I wrote her a card and amongst the things I said was that I hadn't managed to say everything I wanted to, it's hard to squeeze 7 years worth of thoughts into a few days. I also hope it isn't another 7 years before we're together again. It's these thoughts that actually hurt. It was so normal having them here, life felt so rich with her around. I guess it's loneliness I feel, it's that feeling of being understood and loved all the same that is infectious and hard to let go of. It's nice to feel affirmed as a good and friendworthy person. So, my darling Lena, I so loved having you here, I wish I could have thought on my feet more so I could have shared every thought I've ever meant to share with you, but there just wasn't enough time.

To distract today, we went to the beach and it was lovely. I wish you could have been there .....


Helen said...

although the pain from physical separation can be immense you are so fortunate Victoria to have such a soul mate in your closest friend. There are so many instances in our lives - tragic, sad, joy, hurt, ecstasy that we desperately need to share with others. And there is no one better suited to share all those emotions than someone who truly understands and equally cares for us. You are truly blessed. At least these days we aren't as separated by the miles as only a few years ago. Set aside some time to have mutual contact and do not hesitate to call on each other when the mood strikes - those important moments are short lived and rarely return. In the meantime enjoy your 2 lovely girls!!

manda said...

i understand...i really do. today my sister left to go back to japan..where she lives. she knows me like no-one else.
i spent half the day sleeping my blues away... but the beach would have been way nicer.
i hope you find a way to see each other soon.