Songs that soothe my soul

I am big on reminicsing and there isn't a day that goes by when I'm not thinking of a time or a person from my past - be it yesterday or last year. I never let go of things, feelings, loved ones.

Last week I mentioned my desire to dance on the train platform, music's been on my mind more than usual of late. We have music on constantly at home. Geoff is a great consumer of current music and keeps me up-to-date, I don't agree with all his choices, but I love that we're aware of what's going on although it's not really top 40 stuff. So many people seem to stay stuck at a certain point, musically, and never move to new things. I do still love the old stuff though and have had a nostalgic fest of late. I thought I'd share some of my faves with you. It was also inspired somewhat by the sweet Lindsay and the gorgeous post she did for her man on Valentines Day.

"Driftwood" by Travis
This song makes me think of 505 Clive Court, Maida Vale where Geoff and I lived in London for 4 of our 5 years, our home. It makes me remember the flat, our life at that moment in time, the colder days and nights, the darker weather, so many candles, sweetness.

"High and Dry" by Radiohead
When Geoff and I had only been together two weeks, 13 years ago now, we went away for a weekend to Lorne, High and Dry was playing on the radio as we were weaving our way down the Great Ocean Road. We went to the Lorne pub for dinner that night (before the trendy makeover) and he asked me what I'd like to drink. When I responded a shandy he hesitated and said "here's the money, I don't do shandy".

"Fumbling Towards Ecstacy" by Sarah McLachlan
This album, probably unlike any other, is the most powerful for me, instantly transports me to Canada. I was about to turn 25 and there for the second time, involved in the most intense love story of years standing with a gorgeous Canadian whose life I still follow to this day. When I think of this album it's always night. I think of riding the train to the stop near the Science Museum to meet him from the Greyhound bus from Banff. I remember him crying at night and I feel, now, the greatest of regret. I feel almost 15 years younger just thinking of it.

"There's No Need to Argue Anymore" by The Cranberries
Same as the album above, same stay in Canada. Staying with my friend Michelle Mallich in Burnaby, drinking wine from a two litre flagon on the floor in her loungeroom, talking all night by candlelight. She was an amazing woman, I've lost touch with her and have tried to reconnect - I don't know where she is now.

"Easy" by Faith No More
Was a song on the jukebox in the kitchen area of the Fort Mason YHA in San Francisco. I was there in 1993 and was travelling with a girlfriend I'd met in Montreal earlier in the trip. Christelle and I hooked up with some others, Merve, Laurent and Magnus and we'd sit and talk forever in the kitchen. The jukebox had this song on and I'd managed to get it to play it for a penny rather than a dime, I played it over and over.

I don't feel sad thinking about these things, but I certainly can feel melancholy. I have a need to understand and know things, it's not intelligence as in learning, not that kind of desire, it's a connection thing. I need to understand why I feel a certain way about things and why I still think about the things I do and it frustrates me that I don't know myself better. These are all good songs though, I think, even without the associations - have a listen.