Photo care of freefotouk on flickr
I am currently feeling a real lack of direction and purpose. I'm a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, but along the way I've lost sight of who I am to me.
I am like so many other mums who take no time for themselves, who put any of their own activities to the bottom of the list of priorities. Sure, I sew and do activities within the home, while the girls are out or asleep, but I rarely leave Geoff in charge and have activities solely for me. It's not because there aren't things I want to do, it's because I don't like to be away. It's that old hook - you resent not having time to yourself, but when you do, you just keep thinking of home.
I feel fatigued and unhealthy. I'm not exercising. I find it hard to make time for it in my days, but I really NEED to. For the first time ever I feel I've reached that point where I feel being unfit and is actually making me feel weary. I have a constant feeling of lethargy, doing anything, is hard work. Perhaps it's not just physical, it's also the mental preparation, being proactive, I've just lost it - for now.
I need to make some changes. I know I need to fit exercise in and that I'll feel better for it, but gosh, the week is so busy, I hate having to rush somewhere every day. Perhaps I've got too much time on my hands to think - that's probably part of the problem, my lethargy means I'm doing less which means I think more and round and round it goes.
I'm waffling, I need to make a list, before that though I need to get a childrens meal ready, get snacks and swimming gear packed for lessons after school and another bag with the pj's and shower stuff for afterwards.
I'll come back, when I've figured out my plan of attack. It may be a few days in coming ....