17/52

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Ella   I never realised I'd become one of those mums, please PLEASE clean your room.  I had to record it, as it doesn't happen that often
Leila  Bothering her other top tooth which is hanging on by the slimmest of threads.  Our little one is very attached to a certain habit which affects those darling teeth.  She knows that once they're out and her big teeth arrive, that habit has to end, hence the longevity of this tooth.

1054

We're very lucky.  There may be quite an age difference between the cousins (Geoff's siblings children and ours) but they do love spending time together and indulging the whims of our girls.

1053

Fresh bread should really be rested for a good half hour (at least) before you cut into it.  With a sharp knife it's not the crust that's the problem, but the crumb inside needs to relax, else it kind of balls up and sticks together if it's still hot.  The smell though, my oh my, one of my favourite aromas in all the world, how can you honestly be expected to resist?

As a child my mum would bake all our bread and insist I waited, probably only a few moments, before she cut the end crust for me.  Most delicious hot, with butter dripping from it, such a treat every single time.  Even now it's my treat.  The girls aren't fans of crust and I haven't bothered selling the virtues of a fresh crust to them because, frankly, I don't want to share!

Now fresh baked rolls, they're crusted all round and have more combined surface area (with a slight bowl like curve) to contain the generous amounts of melting butter that I consider a necessity with my bread.  Sometimes when you cook something, as the cook you give a kind of mmm reaction, as in it's okay, but bread, no my bread gets me every time.

16/52

Ella & Leila    Catching them unawares, two sisters, embraced.

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

1052

My dear friend Sandy lives in California.  This morning she sent me this link.  It was the breakfast rush in this house and yet I stopped and watched for the 7 minutes it runs and cried silently from about the half way point.

This is not about external beauty alone, at least not to me.  I'm not conscious of the beauty product being endorsed in the background of this piece, I'm only aware of these amazing women and the disservice they do themselves by not appreciating all they are.   True beauty isn't skin deep.  Sandy's friend is the lady named Kela and I don't think I'm breaking any confidences by sharing her decription of her friend "If you met her, she lights up the room with her genuineness and beauty."  Sandy didn't need to tell me that, because it's obvious just by looking into her friend's eyes.

1051

I really love my coffee.

1050

My mind is rarely still or quiet.  It can be calm, it's not always screeching and loud, but it's always very active.  Some times are more peaceful than others, but there's always plenty going on in there.  I hope my mind remains as active into my older years, although I also hope for more resolution in my thoughts.  Perhaps that suggests less challenge?  Acceptance or resolution seems to me to perhaps imply that answers have been found.

I could always do more, I could always do better, I could always be better.  Don't misunderstand me in thinking that I don't feel I do good, or do much, but I always feel there is more I could be or do and achieve.  Most times it acts as motivation, at others it can overwhelm and make me feel that I achieve nothing.

The end of school holidays has found me a little weepy for the end of time with my most beloved girls.  One person, one mother, can achieve only so much, read only so many books, play, create, listen, indulge, cherish, but still I feel I could always have done a little more.  I feel heavily those times when I felt I needed a quiet moment when one wanted a book read or another wanted to share ideas for a story.  I need to remind myself that this time, this now, is not forever, it's so fleeting and soon I will have too much time for my busy mind and thoughts.  Not everything has to be done today, done now, but some times do demand my attention right now, today and during these years.

I can always choose who I become, what path I walk, what challenges I seek, but the role of being a mother to our girls, is something that needs me present now, deserves all of my attention now and in those quiet moments, that's when I can indulge my mind, my thoughts, write them down, plan for the quieter years when I will surely yearn for the occasional chaos and fullness of today's days.

15/52

Ella     Such a young lady, so composed, restrained and absolutely glorious.
Leila    First front tooth, gone.  I don't feel too sad, she looks too cute to do anything but smile.

"A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013."

1049

These school holidays have seemed longer when combined with Easter.  It hasn't added too many extra days, but perhaps having daddy around at the start makes it feel more special.

A family member has had an operation to assist him in his health struggle.  A dear friend has had reconstructive surgery after her fight with cancer last year.  A dear friend has moved away to the peninsula, starting a wonderful new chapter in her family's life.  My own family are in heady deliberations on a home move.  The girls are health and happy, as are Geoff and I.

The holidays have included many sleep ins, cuddly morning starts.  We've pottered a lot, read, talked, squabbled, but it's so nice, the luxury of this extra time together, and so nice that I'm here for it full time x

14/52

Leila    Going for a run with dad
Ella      What can I say, you've seen this shot before, but this is what she's doing most days