Sunday, October 30, 2011


Have you ever travelled overseas on on your own? Purely on your own, finding your way, marvelling at the world and all that you're seeing for the first time? Can you remember that feeling, a mixture of invincibility, passion, excitement, as if anything were possible? You travel for an extended period and I think it's that more than anything that you're trying to hang onto. It's a hard feeling to describe, for me at least, a little like falling in love, that heady mixture of lust and longing that overpowers youand takes you breathe away. The trip ends and you promise yourself that you'll find a way to keep that feeling in your life, so that it never leaves you and life always looks so full of possibility.

I have this feeling wash over me from time to time, today is one of those times. My small family are out and my favourite music is on, loud, and I have a desire to run. I don't want to run away from anyone, but to run to that something that pulls at my chest.

It's a longing for all I think of, dream of, want from this life of mine. It's wanting to see something new, to lie in a field when a storm is raging around me, it's wanting to paint a picture and have people look at it, it's wanting to fall in love with my love all over again. It's intoxicating and I wish I could hold onto it and do something amazing when it overtakes me again.


Kiki said...

The holidays I have taken on my own remain some of the best yet. No plans, no expectations, no concerns. Some people probably think it's selfish not wanting to share those moments but for it has been most necessary. I still remember, I still have all those images, smells and smiles.

When I'm left to the house by myself I also blast the tunes. I bet my neighbours (there are only two close by) love those days as they get to hear a myriad of music genres.

I've missed chatting and leaving comments. I promise to be around more often.

Sarah said...

yes yes I do get that..

Sandy said...

Oh yes, I wish that all the time. I wish I could spend my life traveling, exploring, and marveling at life's rich cultures.

Anonymous said...

Yes, and I've been fortunate enough to have been able to do it since I've had my boys. Its a very liberating and exciting feeling to have the days stretched out ahead of you, with nothing but your own company and others that you may choose.
After the phone call that ended my marriage, I was in Istanbul in a daze. Two days bed ridden, unable to face the world and my new future. Then 5 days of wandering. The old city, the streets, travelling on transport alone, immersed in a foreign language. Just my camera and I. Stopping to eat when hungry, pausing to rest, standing solitary for a moment when my presence was so insignificant. Life does go on. Despite all the despair that we feel and challenges we are thrown, life continues. So here I am, nearly 2 years on. A different life, an unknown future. Some days, a pull so strong, that I want to up and leave and go back to streets to wander alone, to just be. I hear you...