Wednesday, October 12, 2011


Does anyone else struggle to keep hold of themselves as I do? I find keeping myself in balance, keeping all aspects of my life balanced, challenging.

I try to resist getting too negative as ultimately you're already feeling down if you're in that mindset. I don't mean depressed as such, just too thoughtful. I need plenty of free thinking space, me in my own mind space, and of late I haven't had much of that. I am perhaps unlike others in that I don't need time to catch up with girlfriends, go shopping, do a movie or those things, although all lovely, as much as I just need time with myself, to ponder.

I'm going to try and have next year as my action year. It's the last year I'll have Leila at home with me before school and I always promised (myself) that when both girls were at school, I would start to try and fulfill some of my perceived potential.

I am trying to believe more, in myself, in life, in all it can be. I'm hopeful that I can become a part of the things that I admire and am so interested in. I hope that relationships which I value most can survive and again provide that soft place we all need so much. I hope the future holds good health for those who are fighting so hard to attain or retain it.

I just want life to be amazing, for now they're not just words, but I really appreciate that it's never long enough, and forever is such a long time.


Sarah said...

Vic I hear you. YOU ARE NOT alone. We ALL have moments like this.

You are grieving... I am pleased to see you are not hard on yourself and have ability to self reflect.

It is okay.

Julia said...

SPACE. Something I always struggle to get. To feel. To enjoy. Sometimes there are so many people to see and things to do that space to think and check in and ponder is non existent. I am in the process of learning to put my hand up and say I can't do this (or that) anymore/right now, with the sole purpose of creating some space.

Balance is a loose concept, rarely a reality for most. x

Sandy said...

Uncertaintly and fear two of the biggest obstacles in holding us back from our potential. You just have to believe in yourself and charge forward. You have great potential.

Bek said...

Yes, I struggle to keep hold of myself too. I am a thinker like you, and it is a good trait I think, but it means I tend to unravel if I don't get my "quiet time" (which is challenging in itself of course.)

Thanks for sharing your hopes and resolve.