I don't always feel that I'm a good parent to my second child. My two girls are very different, almost complete opposites, except for the fact that they're both very loving, sweet girls.
One is dark in hair and eyes, the other blonde and blue. One is overly reasonable, patient, not prone to tempers, the other is willful, determined, prone to outbursts. One is quietly confident, not easily shy, the other can be self conscious and easily embarassed.
I don't find it easy to manage the two different personalities. The babe and I tend to knock heads, increasingly often of late and I'm having to find different ways of dealing with her. If she's shy, embarassed or hurt she will often yell "don't talk about it mum" and won't let me comfort, talk or distract her. She will hit out in frustration. She suffers a lot (we all do) when she's overly tired, yet she'll fight sleep with all her might.
I lose my temper with her, because she won't let me help her and at times simply because she won't do as I say. I never yelled at Ella when she was the same age, or at least I don't remember doing so. Yelling doesn't make me feel better, it doesn't let of steam, it just makes me feel like crap, like a weak pathetic adult who should know better. Ultimately it also has little effect aside from on me.
So many say second children can be more challenging - is that because we haven't made enough room for them, given them enough of our attention? I had 10 years difference between me and my nearest sibling, so never felt I had to share or even fight for any attention. I want my girls to know that they hold equal billing in my heart, but right now I don't think my actions show that.
I worry that in later years our relationship could be different because of how different they are now, and I don't want that. Any advice, anyone had to manage vastly different personalities with success? Anyone come out with success in later years who struggled early on?