Details

I've edited this post, sorry if you were coming back to it, but well, it was more than a little obtuse and well, I don't know, not for here perhaps.

Instead - the little girl above, a decoration in progress with pattern from here.

Knocking heads

I don't always feel that I'm a good parent to my second child. My two girls are very different, almost complete opposites, except for the fact that they're both very loving, sweet girls.

One is dark in hair and eyes, the other blonde and blue. One is overly reasonable, patient, not prone to tempers, the other is willful, determined, prone to outbursts. One is quietly confident, not easily shy, the other can be self conscious and easily embarassed.

I don't find it easy to manage the two different personalities. The babe and I tend to knock heads, increasingly often of late and I'm having to find different ways of dealing with her. If she's shy, embarassed or hurt she will often yell "don't talk about it mum" and won't let me comfort, talk or distract her. She will hit out in frustration. She suffers a lot (we all do) when she's overly tired, yet she'll fight sleep with all her might.

I lose my temper with her, because she won't let me help her and at times simply because she won't do as I say. I never yelled at Ella when she was the same age, or at least I don't remember doing so. Yelling doesn't make me feel better, it doesn't let of steam, it just makes me feel like crap, like a weak pathetic adult who should know better. Ultimately it also has little effect aside from on me.

So many say second children can be more challenging - is that because we haven't made enough room for them, given them enough of our attention? I had 10 years difference between me and my nearest sibling, so never felt I had to share or even fight for any attention. I want my girls to know that they hold equal billing in my heart, but right now I don't think my actions show that.

I worry that in later years our relationship could be different because of how different they are now, and I don't want that. Any advice, anyone had to manage vastly different personalities with success? Anyone come out with success in later years who struggled early on?

40

Hip, hip, hooray to me!!

I always hope that my loved ones feel special on their birthdays, I do try to do everything I can to make them feel so. This morning started with my wonderful 1+2 giving me the most generous and thoughtful of gifts. G bought me a new camera, something I've been thinking about for the longest time. Let me tell you, I've only had time for a quick play, but this baby is sooooo nice! I hope you will see a marked improvement in my shots from here on in.

The girls bought me this gorgeous Elk necklace, Ella chose it for them. Not only that but I received a voucher to have a professional portrait taken with the girls as well - something else I've always wanted.

Then my parents gifted me another almost lifelong gift wish! Can you believe such riches. So, so generous and so wonderfully appreciated.

Two dear friends from school dropped in after drop off, me with the gastro little one did the kiss and drop option this morning, both came to wish me well with such thoughtful gifts. When people go to such an effort, and you're surprised, well I feel well loved today and it's nice.

The headless photo of me, in case you're wondering, is because Ella wanted to show me what 40 looked like. You know what, it's looking pretty good to me!

PS Jo, Geoff thanks you for the camera tips in your recent post - you can see he used some of them!

Sheet to skirt

I recently donated the girls' cot and change table to charity, but had hung on to the sheets. Although they're well used, they're in perfect condition and so deliciously soft. I'm not sure why I kept them, perhaps to give to friends, but honestly most of our friends have passed the babes in cot phase so they were just sitting there.

I have never managed to find true, what I call, swiss cotton anywhere. That lovely soft fine cotton that is so lovely for childrens clothing. I've bought things made from it, had things myself, but never found any to buy. Today, when Leila spilt a Quelch icy tube down the front of a well loved white dress, as I was bleaching it clean, I thought, the cot sheets. Both my girls have white dresses they love and look gorgeous in, but they take a beating. So, sheets became skirts.

I actually have an old gorgeous soft creamy yellow sheet for our bed that is frayed at the bottom, I might be able to part with it if there's a nice comfy skirt in it for me! Free pattern care of Dana Made.

Crunch

I saw a box of croutons in the supermarket a while ago, they were over $4.00 for a very small box and nowhere in the contents did I see "bread".

We had some gorgeous bread on Saturday night, but didn't eat it all. Some turned into breadcrumbs, the rest was cut into cubes, tossed in olive oil, salt and finely chopped garlic and toasted in a moderate oven for 10 minutes. No additional cost, only additional yum to tonight's salad dinner.

4 days left

until I turn 40. I only have four more days when I can say that I'm in my 30's.

We celebrated with Geoff's family on Saturday night, at my brother in laws house. They have a lovely house and pool, but for some reason I didn't feel inclined to strip down to my togs and go for a dip. I imbibed cool liquids instead of bathing in them, because that's what you do when you're almost 40.

I have 4 days to make a list as Christie did on her birthday las year. There's plenty I still want to do, I've only just scratched the surface. In terms of life achievements though, I feel I've already done my best work.

11 years

later and he still buys the most thoughtful gifts of anyone I've ever known.

What was I doing this time 11 years ago, gosh was I eating breakfast, or perhaps already getting my hair done? In terms of remembering all the details it seems a long time ago, but in terms of a life shared, it feels so brief. Thank goodness lifetimes are long.

xxx