I feel I'm a bit of a contradiction. I am very honest and open and I also love to make a fuss of others. Having said that, I don't like attention focussed on me. It's not that unusual, but coupled with the former comment, people are often surprised that I baulk at unnecessary attention.
I haven't spoken to any of my inlaws since I made the drive to the NE. I have only spoken to one close friend, preferring email to actually speaking. Tomorrow I am going back to work, two weeks to the day since I drove to see my darling brother. I'm not normally worried about sharing emotions, but these are private and I feel no desire to share. I know that's a contradiction when I'm sharing with you, but in writing it's different, I write for my own peace of mind, expecting nothing in return. Condolences though, I'm anxious about condolences, face to face, that I can't respond to later, and I don't feel the ability to be gracious.