Monday, April 27, 2009

Tears

There are some days, actually usually just afternoons, where I feel at my wits end.

There are afternoons where one little person is either talking over another or at the same time as them; there is a constant barrage of "I want this", "where's my that"; "I'm hungry"; "So and So give me that back", "Mum"; "Mum"; "Mum" and then there's the house that I spent a couple of precious hours cleaning, only to have it trashed in 15 minutes. Honestly, I can't pick up after them at the same rate they can tear things apart.

These afternoons aren't rare, but they aren't every day, but my god, I do feel close to tears when they come. I know you can only do so much, but we mums do try to do everything and honestly, I know that we should accept only what we can do, but I do feel like a failure when I can't get everything done. I try to stop, take deep breathes and know that tomorrow will be different and I won't remember it, but gosh, I do feel like a bath with candles and a glass of red and music in the background with no-one asking me for anything, when those afternoons come. I guess I'll settle for the red, in between bath, bed and making my second dinner for the day.

Enough feeling sorry for myself for one afternoon? I think so.

9 comments:

Prue said...

Sorry its been such a rough, long day for you. Enjoy your child-free evening. We all have those days, so don't imagine you're all alone in this.

Tamara said...

Oh you have said it so well!

I want to know how sometimes I can feel so totally on top of it all, totally in control and the next day feel close to 'tears'. There seems no rhyme or reason to it all.

Take heart, we are all in the same boat.

Kym said...

I hope today is a better day for you. Whenever I have 'one of those days' I take my cup of tea and my bad mood, open iPhoto and look at photos of better (and worse) days. Works every time, especially photos and movies of two very new little beings. I remember waiting eagerly for first words, and wonder why on earth I didn't just enjoy their cheeky wordless smiles, giggles and coos. The baby days seem so easy in hindsight!

Christie said...

yep, i hear ya.

yesterday i managed to get the house in oder, but you should see it today, why do i bother!?

on top of that i have a splitting headache & the kids won't give me a moments peace.

phew, glad i got that off my chest

luckily those days don't last ...

Little Min said...

I'm sorry you're having one of those days. You articulated exactly how i have felt so many times too, where I've wondered 'what have I done to my beautiful life?!' And I was under the illusion that it was going to get a little easier by Ella and Leila's ages!

On a good day we shrug it all off with a spontaneous youtube dance party, which involves a burst of loud music to lift the spirits.
xx

Renee said...

I hope you get your bath and glass of red soon. Take care xx

Sandy said...

Oh, V, I hear your pain and I sympathize with you, my friend. I can't seem to keep a clean house either, but it sure feels satisfying when the house is in order, even if it is for only a few seconds! You're doing a great job. I will share your tears on any given messed up day.

Luann said...

Had one of Those days today too. It started off ok and then steadily declined. Everyone is sick and tired and it can be so overwhelming. Thank goodness for the better days.

Sarah said...

Yup I had days like this when the boys were younger. Now they are far apart - I now just say I need some time to myself. Usually I go hide in the bathroom and run a bath with a mag and sit and read (and cry). If it means things are late - at least when I get out I feel heaps better and can cope with all the barrage. I have another one coming in four weeks (or there about!) so wonder if the bathroom is going to be a respite centre more often?