105

As a mostly at home mum I know that at times I marvel at how some blog mums keep their houses just so all the time. I know, of course, that this is not always the reality for them and almost never for me. I don't generally photograph the bigger pictures of my own house, because it is always far from perfect. So, to make all of us out there who struggle to pick up after our gorgeous families and feel constantly bad about it, this is for you. This is me surrendering to the mess and realising that for the next few weeks there is simply nothing I can do about it!

This is mine and Geoff's room with the old BIR removed and plastering and painting yet to happen.

We've also been selling things on Ebay, so old drawers from all our rooms have disappeared. Does this room inspire romance or what?

Leila's room which is even more of a disaster than normal with Ella's things mixed in and her drawers gone as well.

More Leila room mess - this is where her new robe will go.

Ella's room awaiting replaster, painting then the new BIR.

Blackburn crazy paving fireplace gone - awaiting plasterer and new built in unit.

Pittosporums that we planted 5 years ago which were in a hedge roof height - gone in a few hours.

Pergola with laserlight, screening all around, vines, roses, you name it - all gone.

Things can only get better from here!

104

This was our weekend. We're in the middle of demolishing mode. The fireplace is gone, the BIR's are all gone, the backyard is now an open space with the pergola, screening, plantings and trees all gone. We're almost at the blank slate stage. It's strange, particularly in the back yard. Considering all the work we put into getting everything as it was, so much effort, to in one day destroy it all. We're very happy though, excited about the new beginning and the big changes in store.

100

We don't have a computer room, we have a desk in our bedroom where our computer lives.

We don't have a studio or spare room, my sewing machine lives in the laundry cupboard and is used upon either the kitchen or the dining table.

We're currently in the process of some renovations. We're removing all our BIR's, making good the walls, removing a wall in one case, patching, replastering and repainting. We're then carpetting all the bedrooms and after that replacing all the BIR's. As part of this process our house is a shambles. I've emptied wardrobes to start dismantling and I've taken down all the dozens, literally, of framed photos from our bedroom wall, patched and readied for repainting.

We had a whole wall covered with similarly framed photos of Geoff and I and the girls at various points. These photos faced us as we lay in bed and they covered nearly a whole wall. I didn't want to take them down, but now they're down, it's so clean, so vast, I think we'll only put up a few, perhaps rotate them.

The new addition I think I'll have for our wall, over our computer desk, is a small noteboard, inspiration board, or whatever you like to call it. A place to pin the special cards, notes, pictures or ideas that come our way. I usually keep them in my purse, in one of the notebooks I always carry around with me, or my organiser. I don't generally display them on the mantlepiece, for me that's a place only for birthday or christmas cards.

I've started sending postcards, cards and letters again. Pre email, which yes, was in my adult lifetime, I would write multiple letters each week. From the time I turned 21 I lived overseas for extended periods and that meant someone I loved was always separated from me. I wrote love letters, many of them, sent postcards from dozens of locations and just "talked" to those far away. I got so much pleasure from the writing, perhaps even more so than from the receiving.

I got lazy, I stopped writing, I'd email instead. I've started again though and not suprisingly it's giving me so much pleasure. Freezing that moment in time to say to someone "I'm thinking of you", I'm ashamed that I let it go at all.

I'm lucky, there is another person who thinks the same way as me and today they brightened my day. For now their thoughts, their gesture, sits beside our keyboard, here as I type, but in only a few weeks, it will be on the board that will sit in front of me, one I can smile to, as I tap, tap, tap away.

91

Well we aren't new homeowners and we're completely okay with that. We weren't emotional about it because in the end neither of us felt we were prepared to pay what it would go for and we were right. It went for $30,000 more than we'd set as our limit.

I feel good, I feel recharged somehow. I love our home, always have. It's small and won't accommodate our little family moving forward, but that's its only shortcoming. If only we had another 100m2 we'd have enough space, but we don't. So, we're going to focus on finishing off everything around here that we've put off, not super exciting but things that will make SUCH a difference like new carpets, new BIR's and BIshelving in the lounge. We may also do our back yard and make it into a more native and organic outdoor space. We may also find a way to squeeze in a trampoline and a water feature - the girls most loved features from the house that wasn't meant to be!

So, we feel good about it and not disappointed, which I'm so happy about.

85

Oh my I have an awful lot going on in my head at the moment. I am a thinker, dreamer and worrier all mixed together, that makes for a lot of thinking, particularly when big issues are at hand.

So first, I bake. I've wanted to make challah for the longest time and despite how delicious and decadent the bread is, the method is super easy. Very wet mix, but very responsive and only one one real knead and then forming the braid. I love the smell, the kind you bury your nose in. I used a recipe from here, but ommitted the long proof overnight.

The issue that is taking up all my thinking space, the issue that is making me antsy is this.

I don't want to jinx anything so won't talk out loud, but oh dear, it's awful to want something with no guarantee of it hapenning, kind of like unrequited love. Fingers crossed.

Room with a view

Last week I posted about the beautiful clematis that we have planted on our front verandah. I wanted to show you how good it can look by sharing the view that greets me from our kitchen window every morning. Montana rubens - remember the name.

PS Please ignore the dirty windows - not a strength of mine, cleaning windows.

A Mixed Bag

First there's the cubby which is threatening to consume the lounge room. I can't get to the blinds or window without climbing. I have disassembled and reassembled to vacuum all the picnic foods left behind. I am reading stories inside the cubby by torchlight and putting to bed not only my two girls, but all their girls as well.




Then there's the chest cold which I can't shake and the cough medicine which grosses me out. Chesty Cough Liquid - Forte - Reduces chest congestion by liquefying mucus!!!!!!!!!!!!

The car we've been talking about replacing which went in for service today. No problems with it, we don't drive much at all, but a routine service was due. A phone call later and I'm told there is approximately $2,000 of repairs and we'll look at the valves and pistons when we've got the engine out. It's 7 years old, these are, apparently, routine things. Why then do I feel such a muggins?

Comes in threes

Why does it happen that way? Something never seems to break alone, a nearby appliance always hears the call and throws themselves upon the "spent" appliances pile in sympathy.

Our extractor fan over the stove died a few weeks ago now. It was 2 weeks past the 2 year warranty period. Am I the cynical one that I wondered if they aren't made to last only 2 years? I called up to find out about a service and was told the call out fee was $120.00 and then another $15 for each 5 minutes thereafter plus parts. I have to get used to the idea of the cost first and then I'll book it in.

Second casualty has been a long time coming but I've been in denial through fear of what it would be like to live without him. Geoff bought me a Gaggia espresso machine for my birthday in I think 2000 in London, so it's had a good life. Probably for the last years it's gotten more and more sluggish and a clean hasn't helped. This past week the steamer died, it no longer steams, it does a pathetic puff puff, but has no oomph left. There is definitely pressure building in the machine for the steam comes out of other places, which worries me a lot, the idea of it exploding on me, so it's turned off for now. I cannot live without an espresso machine. I have an old stove top version which I'll use for now, but it is simply a necessity.

Third disaster last night - our digital camera died. We went out for Geoff's birthday with friends and like a teenager I took my camera to embaress everyone. I had newly recharged batteries (for that's been an issue in the past) as well as a back up pack of four disposables. They all died, with only two photos between them - that's not good is it. I hope it's not the camera, three replacements are just too much for now. The other irksome thing about it is that I have two gorgeous dolls I've finished to go into my etsy shop and I can't photograph them - both different to any I've done before and I can't share them.

Kinder goes back this week and swimming and dancing so perhaps in that scheduling nightmare I'll find time to replace one of the three. It's also work again this week after two days sick leave last week. It's only 3 weeks until my dear colleague (who is full time) takes off on leave for a month to the US and I'm left managing things. I must confess to feeling a little sick about the idea of it. It's so hard to learn completely new skills in two days and then not use them for a week before trying to learn again. I hope I don't stuff things up too badly, I want her to come back from her holiday relaxed and not with too many problems to fix. She's had a bad run with her part time helpers and she's such a sweetheart and so supportive, I hope I can manage.

The Pleasure of Green

In September of this year we will have lived here for four years, time has gone fast. This is our first home and it was a compromise in terms of location. The house itself is a good size, but it's on a subdivided block so our back yard is very small but our front the same as all our neighbours. We weren't concerned when we bought it because we knew that although we'd love a huge yard, not everyone likes the maintenance so didn't anticipate any problems onselling.

It wasn't exactly a feature - the back yard. We bought the property from a couple with one young child who had removed all the mature trees from the front yard to feng shuie and left the back yard alone. I could see exactly how I wanted it to be from the moment we first looked at the place - a green oasis.

The old lady who lived here when the block was subdivided wanted to still be able to bring her car onto the property and therefore she concreted the whole back yard - the whole back yard. It was covered in pressed thick, thick concrete from the house to the fence in all directions. It took us the first two years to remove it, concrete cutting, sledge hammers, layer upon layer of horror.

This is what it looked like previously - everywhere.

This is what it looks like now.

The Virginia Creeper covers the next door neighbour's horrible steel shed. The Pittosporums are now almost high enough to cover the unit next door. The wisteria on the screen at the end now shields the roller door and the grasses along the house, well, they're lovely and green.

I can't tell you the sense of satisfaction I get walking out here now and seeing the greeness of it all. I hardly ever water, although I couldn't even if I wanted to, and somehow it all stays really lush - I guess I chose well with the plantings. It's almost exactly as I imagined it, although that's not to say there still aren't things I'd like to change - aren't there always with works in progress? The washing line - where on earth can I hide that?!

Peas

Despite a location that means they get little attention, we have our first peas set!