Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
And morning soup can be avoided if you take a route straight through what is known as Parklife
Monday, January 12, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Some times, for no apparent reason, everything just falls into place and this weekend was one of those times. We didn't do anything that spectacular but things just seemed to work.
Saturday I took Ella and a friend (of hers) to see HSM3 and then to McD's for lunch. At the same time Geoff was taking Leila for a bike ride and to a cafe for morning tea. In the afternoon we pottered and then Geoff made a spanking dinner of ribs with homemade bbq sauce and copious Coronas with lemon.
Today we actually spent almost 4 hours at the inlaws' house trying to get their garden into order. They moved into a new, smaller place about 4 months ago and have struggled to make it their own. Today Geoff and I tackled the front yard, weeded, pruned, removed lots of plants and left with it looking so much better.
Tonight, family dinner night, noodles. We all showered late after our gardening exertions, put on clean clothes and had dinner alfresco. Dinner was lovely with music and dancing afterwards. We played some newer faves (Feist, Dan in Real Life soundtrack and some of Geoff's more esoteric sounds) and then dragged out some older cds. The the girls insisted they be dancing songs - Angel in Harlem was one, the new Coldplay song whose title I don't even know but which makes me remember our trips to Scotland, REM - Night Swimming and Electrolite. We danced, we played the drums with our chopsticks, we ran around, we laughed and I felt so happy.
I'm not looking for the huge moments. I can't put a finger on what made this weekend work so well, but it made me happy and that's all I'm looking for, happiness and togetherness. If I start seeing a therapist and she/he says "remember a time when you were happy" then I'll hone straight in to this weekend.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
I think I cried from about 5 minutes in and then every 5 minutes until the end. I loved the film, but feel very melancholy now. So many things I should say and so many questions that are unanswered. It was a huge love story but one I couldn't understand. A love so great, you could never walk away from, or let someone walk away from it. The parent/child relationship really hurt. There are so many things of my own mother's life that I don't know the answers to. She had a whole, complete, complicated story before my father even came along. I didn't know that life had even existed until I was 15 and even now, almost 25 years later, facts have only been alluded to. Some things I think my mum and dad want to share with me, but don't know how, others I would have to ask about and I don't know if it's my place to.
My father in law has the onset of Parkinson's disease and is suffering with it, mentally as much as physically. He feels the loss of his capacity and worries for what follows and yet is not optimistic about the possibilities of there still being something, that there still thigns to look forward to. What do you say to a 73 year old who faces these challenges - it makes me feel so sad, as if the end is there, looming large, what can you say to that?
So, I'm feeling, not sorry for myself, but melancholy. I'm aware of the time that has passed and that less is in front for some of those I love.
Tonight I told my daughters that there wasn't anything they couldn't ask me (they're 2 and 5). Should there come a day when I'm not around and they wonder something about me, that they shouln't have to wonder about the answer, but that they'd know because I didn't keep secrets from them. I told Ella that I'd had 12 boyfriends before daddy ..... I told her that I had once tried smoking but luckily didn't like it (don't tell nanny and pa) ..... and I also told her that I didn't always feel that I was a very good mummy or wife, that I was too impatient and that made me feel angry with myself (she told me that simply wasn't true). I don't want them to have questions about me. Of all the people in my life, they are the two who I always want to be most honest with.
It is a wonderful movie, you should see it, and Gold Class is great.
Friday, January 02, 2009
I was so thrilled with Leila's cake - it's so simple but I think it turned out really well. One day when I finally manage to get my own little corner cafe up and running, I'd love to do a sideline in children's cakes, they're so much fun to make and it's really not hard to make things that the children are so thrilled with - and they taste good! (PS Sandy - another time I used the icing kit! I use that over my more professional piping bags now!)
A ride on the carousel before leaving. I so wanted to sit on a horse, but with Leila being under a certain height she had to ride an elephant with an adult escort. Next time I'll choose the green horse...
You are our monkey, that's for sure, but you're also our neat one with lovely manners who thanks mummy for dinner each night and puts mum's coffee cup back on the sink. We meet some little ones who don't say much, but you speak in sentences now so we have a third chatty bird in the family.
You're going through a real mum stage nd I can't walk more than a foot away without your little face crumpling as if I'm going to leave you forever. I know it's only a phase, but it can feel too much at times, although today I am all too aware that before long you'll be running off without a backwards glance. There are no more babes to come for our little family, so we must make the most of these days.
It's a big year for us Leila, with Ella off to school next month we will have so much more time together, just the two of us. I know we'll both miss big sister terribly, but I'm excited about having more time with you, my baby.
Happy Birthday gorgeous one.